PBH220H: Branching from the Head to the Heart

Ignorant or in denial?

  • http://www.unmaskingchoice.ca/blog/2013/10/07/ignorant-or-denial
    • There's a difference between ignorance of the truth and denial of the truth.
      • When people are in denial about abortion, it's very often because of some hidden wound, especially an experience with abortion or some other trauma. That denial is a reaction of the heart, and it necessitates a fundamentally different response from us as pro-life advocates. Heart conversations require us to tailor our approach to allow us to address the hurt and pain that these people have experienced that prevent them from accepting the truth about abortion.
      • Example: Testimony - CCBR Video: "4 of my friends have had abortions"

Seek to understand

  1. Questions that you can ask when you find the intellectual/head arguments are coming up against a wall of denial:
    1. Head Q's = what someone believes, vs. heart Q's = why someone believes what they believe Reaching the person behind the argument
    2. “Do you know someone who's had an abortion?” Testimony: CCBR video - His sister had an abortion
    3. What made you decide to be pro-choice?“ Testimony: https://www.endthekilling.ca/blog/2018/03/28/speaking-from-the-heart/
    4. Where does your passion come from?
“Asking questions from genuine interest builds connection. Connection builds trust. And trust is the bridge that can bear the weight of truth.” - Mary Schaller & John Crilly, “The 9 Arts of Spiritual Conversations”

Love

  1. Strategies for dialoguing compassionately and sensitively with strangers about sensitive areas of personal history
    • Ways to covertly make them aware of help, if they might resist a direct offer
  2. What about sexual assault?
    1. Anna Thomson: “If we look at the case of sexual assault, we know there are three parties involved. We have the guilty man, who should be punished (do we agree?) And then we have the innocent woman who has been victimized. So she deserves support (we agree?) Now we have the child, are they innocent or guilty? (Innocent) Okay, so now we have a choice to make. We can either offer support and create another survivor, or we can offer abortion and create a second victim. Don't you think we should be making more survivors, not more victims?”
  3. Speaking with survivors of sexual assault
  4. Speaking with those whose loved ones have had abortions:
  5. Is it loving to show AVP?
  6. “What do you think someone like me thinks about women who've had abortions?”
    1. Communicate help available after abortion, share stories e.g. Angelina's story, etc.
    2. Communicate empathy
  7. “If I had known you when you were pregnant and considering abortion, is there anything I could have done to help you make a different choice?”
  8. Communicate care through body language - open posture, smiling when appropriate (especially when initially greeting people), showing concern/mirroring pain when appropriate, angle your sign so it's not a physical barrier between you and person (and so more views!) etc.

Example:

FIXME Still-face experiment footage – “what happens to the human person when she experiences a lack of love?” C.f. Stephanie Gray visiting orphaned child. If someone can't see the difference between right and wrong, it may be because they have been wronged. If someone's coming from a place that seems initially heartless, it may be because experiences of pain have closed their hearts off.

Inspire/impart courage

  1. “Who inspires you?”
    1. Those who inspire do the right thing and pursue the good, even when it's hard
  2. “Do you think that if you/your mom/your sister had had more support, you could have carried to term?”
  3. D = S - M
  4. Diagnosis of a disability or illness
  5. Inspire men to stand up for women and children
    1. https://www.torontoagainstabortion.org/2018/10/05/why-do-we-continue-in-the-face-of-violent-opposition/
  6. What about suffering and being unwanted?
    1. Testimony: Adoption, Suffering and Love

FIXME topics=address at least some of the following: overall branching from head to heart; post-abortive women; loved ones of the post-abortive; survivors of sexual assault; women who've had miscarriages; suffering; mental health issues/suicidal ideation

Resources from Life Perspectives on how to deal with reproductive loss: https://www.lifeperspectives.com/training-tools/