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utsfl:classroom:seminars:pbh100h [2013/09/28 13:35] – changed title balleyne | utsfl:classroom:seminars:pbh100h [2023/06/01 13:09] (current) – mmccann | ||
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====== PBH100H: Understanding the Heart of a Vulnerable Women in a Crisis Pregnancy ====== | ====== PBH100H: Understanding the Heart of a Vulnerable Women in a Crisis Pregnancy ====== | ||
- | ===== Commons Feelings ==== | + | FIXME Paul Swope, summary of the research: |
- | ^ Fear ^ Symptoms ^ Solution ^ | + | > The summary report of the study bears the intriguing title “Abortion: |
- | | "I am all alone" | + | > |
- | | Fear | | Perfect love casts out fear | | + | > Unplanned motherhood, according to the study, represents a threat so great to modern women that it is perceived as equivalent to a “death of self.” While the woman may rationally understand this is not her own literal death, her emotional, subconscious reaction to carrying the child to term is that her life will be “over.” This is because many young women of today have developed a self-identity that simply does not include being a mother. It may include going through college, getting a degree, obtaining a good job, even getting married someday; but the sudden intrusion of motherhood is perceived as a complete loss of control over their present and future selves. It shatters their sense of who they are and will become, and thereby paralyzes their ability to think more rationally or realistically. |
+ | > | ||
+ | > When these women evaluate the abortion decision, therefore, they do not, as a pro-lifer might, formulate the problem with the radically distinct options of either “I must endure an embarrassing pregnancy” or “I must destroy the life of an innocent child.” Instead, their perception of the choice is either “my life is over” or “the life of this new child is over.” Given this perspective, | ||
+ | > | ||
+ | > Even those women who are likely to choose life rather than abortion do so not because they better understand fetology or have a greater love for children, but because they have a broader and less fragile sense of self, and they can better incorporate motherhood into their self-identity. | ||
+ | > | ||
+ | > Adoption, unfortunately, | ||
+ | |||
+ | |||
+ | * Provider for two, I can barely provide for one | ||
+ | * [missing four others] | ||
+ | |||
+ | No woman wants or desires to have an abortion. She feels often that she has no other choice. | ||
+ | |||
+ | **"I am all alone."** | ||
+ | * She feels that there is no one to support her | ||
+ | * This is one of the most common fears | ||
+ | * Those she trusts most have abandoned her | ||
+ | * You can't say this unless | ||
+ | * This is a time when she desires support the most | ||
+ | |||
+ | **"I am so afraid." | ||
+ | * Fear is natural -- realization that this is an immortal soul placed in her care | ||
+ | * " | ||
+ | * It's in the nature of man to protect and for women to nurture. Abortion emasculates men -- encourage a man to protect his baby. | ||
+ | * When they said that to a man, his partner was in there the whole time waiting for him to come in a take her out | ||
+ | |||
+ | **Fear** | ||
+ | * Perfect love casts out fear | ||
+ | * No one is able to be totally self reliant. We are made in the image of God who is relational | ||
+ | |||
+ | |||
+ | Coaching example: employer finds out an employee asked for a Christmas bonus in advance to pay for an abortion | ||
+ | * You have to understand what's going on, that she's scared and afraid | ||
+ | * employer got her alone after work, let her know that she knew, and asked if there was anything she could do to help -- the employee just shut down | ||
+ | * Employer replied: "You must be so afraid" | ||
+ | |||
+ | |||
+ | |||
+ | **There is no room in the heart of the Father of the baby** | ||
+ | * She gave her whole self to him [missing] | ||
+ | * The father rejects the mother when he rejects the baby | ||
+ | * Women often are willing to suffer for another -- unfortunately they will even suffer an abortion in order to " | ||
+ | |||
+ | FIXME reflection on this from a woman whose partner initially wanted abortion https:// | ||
+ | |||
+ | {{: | ||
+ | |||
+ | **There' | ||
+ | * It is natural for parents to be surprised, even shocked | ||
+ | * it's natural and pretty healthy | ||
+ | * parents need a chance to mourn the ideals they had first -- this pregnancy has put everyone into an emotional chaos | ||
+ | * she's wanting support and is telling people she loves, but they can't and they' | ||
+ | * Their daughter deserves better than abortion | ||
+ | * Sometimes, the Sisters can help the daughter by helping the mother. Often times, when parents are pressuring their children for abortion, it's because they think it's all going to fall on them. | ||
+ | |||
+ | **My boyfriend told me that he would support be whatever I decide.** | ||
+ | * She hears in that: he really wants me to have an abortion | ||
+ | * What she hoped he would say: "This is //our// baby." | ||
+ | |||
+ | **My mom had an abortion and she is fine.** | ||
+ | * Having suffered such a traumatic event a woman copes by repressing feelings for up to 20 years | ||
+ | * "There is a difference between ignorance and denial." | ||
+ | |||
+ | **One day I want to be a mother and the next day I cannot even imagine it.** | ||
+ | * Unexpected pregnancy brings about unexpected joy | ||
+ | * Normalize this feeling: it is very natural, especially for new parents, even in non-crisis pregnancy situations | ||
+ | |||
+ | **Do not give way to fear** | ||
+ | * Let her cry | ||
+ | * Help her to get in touch with what her heart is really saying to her | ||
+ | |||
+ | FIXME Choice42 videos as examples to consider, how the stories relate to the guidance? https:// | ||